When I came to Mexico alone for the first time, my family expressed they were scared and even upset with me that I would dream of pursuing such a feat for what they called "crazy" and "pointless" reasons. Granted, this was only a few months after I experienced my mental health crisis so they were a little unsure about my stability. But more than anything I sensed that they perceived my venture as selfish. And maybe it was, initially. When I landed in Mexico City for an 8 hour layover I wanted to explore. So I hopped on some busses to explore around the city before having to get back to the airport for my connecting flight. I knew no Spanish. Maybe I knew "hola," "gracias," and "por favor," but that was seriously about it. I didn't know how to say "help me" or "excuse me" or "where is the bathroom?" I didn't know I would be charged money to use a bathroom. I knew nothing. But this did not stop me. I successfully stumbled by way around the city alone with the help of a few kind strangers. I used my intuition and empath abilities to assess who I could approach and who maybe I shouldn't. I kept my valuables close to me. But slowly and surely I learned that Mexico isn't so scary after all. That was just over a year ago. I'm proud to say that today I am 42% (according to DuoLingo) fluent in Spanish, can hold conversations, meet new friends, understand some things some times. I have fallen in love with a country and culture I would have never stepped foot in if I let fear stop me. I found my second home. If I would have had someone with me that day, or with me over the next four (and counting) cumulative months I've spent in Mexico since then, I never would have learned the things about myself that I learned (and am continuing to learn). I wouldn't have saw how I can overcome fear, all on my own. The truth is, I was scared. I was skeptical. When a member of my family told me about the abduction statistics in Mexico, I had to keep my poker face on. I couldn't let them know I was just as scared (if not more scared) then they were. I wasn't scared of the specific things they feared, but I was terrified of the unknown. And yet I was following my intuition. For probably the first time I made a big decision based on courage instead of fear. I was following what my pendulum told me to do, actually. And I felt crazy and foolish. Yet, I felt so sure, so guided. When I meditated and breathed into the fear, I saw it was rooted in beliefs I had about myself that no longer (if they ever did) serve me. Beliefs like: The world is unsafe for me. I am not capable of taking care of myself. I should be afraid of the unknown. I cannot adapt to new situations. If I cannot communicate then I am unsafe. The list could go on but I do not not see value in repeating too many old non serving beliefs. The truth is, it took me consciously challenging these beliefs to then allow those around me to shift their perception of me. But really it wasn't about them. It was me keeping myself trapped in these limiting beliefs and how I was projecting that into how everyone around me had always saw me. Everything I blamed everyone else for was actually a mental projection of my own limiting beliefs about myself. I started travelling alone in 2014. It looked very different than it does today. I planned every hour (it felt like), booked every nights sleep, and panicked when the plan changed even slightly. I did not welcome advice or direction from locals, and I was regrettably disrespectful to my hosts in the process. I was a very anxious person. Then, I yo-yo'd to the other end of the spectrum. Planning almost nothing, expecting everyone I met to take care of me practically and financially sometimes too, and carelessly putting myself in potentially foolish or dangerous situations. Again I was disrespectful to many hosts. At this time I was not anxious, but I would say I was depressed and disregarded my health and safety. In both situations, I was letting many of these old belief systems guide me through my travels. But the experiences challenged these belief systems. Every time the Universe threw me a bone and guided me to safety, it challenged my beliefs. And every time I travel alone, still more and more are challenged and evolved into something new. The world is safe for me. There is beauty and danger everywhere. A beautiful yin yang. We need to be aware, and yet remain open to this duality. I am capable of caring for myself. And a dog! An adorable four-legged gift from the Universe during that first trip to Mexico. My girl, Mexi, is a constant reminder of my strength and my process, as she has taught me many lessons since the moment I laid eyes on her. I should most certainly not be afraid of the unknown. The unknown is the place where new things can be learned! It is where love can be found! It is where our old beliefs come to wither away and be transformed. It is where we evolve. It is where we grow. I can adapt to new situations. Now, every time a plan changes in my travels, I have so many experiences to draw from. Does that mean I remain cool headed always? Definitely not. I still panic, worry, and become scared. But I can cope much better, not only because of the tools I learned in my first trip to Mexico in my yoga teacher training, but because I remember every time plans changed, and still I lived. Plans change, and the alternative is often even better! But if you hang on too tightly to the original plan, the awesome alternate opportunity will pass you by. Or maybe the alternative isn't better, seemingly, but offers a lesson that helps you in ways you can't even understand. There is no such thing as not being able to communicate unless you are not conscious. You do not need to speak the same language to communicate. So much can be said with eye contact, with music, with energy, with an embrace, with love. If I am able to remain open to this idea, I can form relationships with different people from all sorts of different walks of life. And I am always safe, even if the face of danger. Does this mean I always feel safe? No. Does this mean I'm immune to violence? Definitely not. If someone chooses to randomly be violent towards me, something that could happen anywhere in the world, it is unlikely that language is going to impact that. It is important to me to spend at least one month a year travelling alone. I am averaging far more than that over the course of the last couple years. I think everyone should travel alone once, at the very least. Step out of your comfort zone and trust that the Universe has your back. Believe in the kindness of strangers. But most importantly, believe in yourself.
Isla Mujeres, QR, México